Beloved Wife

Be what he can't be.
Be what he won't be.
You are his helper.

He is what you can't be.
He is what you won't be.
He is your head.

Where he is harsh, be gentle.
Where he is absent, be present.
When he does not pray, pray twice as hard.
When he forgets, remember.

Where you are weak, he is strong.
When you are unorganized, he is neat.
Where you lack knowledge, he is knowledgeable.
When you are vulnerable, he is protective.

Be what he can't be.
Be what he won't be.

He is what you can't be.
He is what you won't be.

Just as God too...

Is Holy, when you are not.
Is Faithful, when you are not.
Gave a Ransom when you could not.
Loves you, when you did not.

Dear America

Dear America, 

In a time when pride for you is in question and rebellion is in promotion, I find myself extremely thankful to God and how He has blessed you. There is a war against your foundation and this war is beyond human weapons and beyond human flesh. This war spans across the diversity of culture, race, and religion around the world. 

People are dying across the Middle East in the name of Allah and Sharia Law, a bride in India is set on fire when her husband-to-be is displeased with her dowry, an 11 year old girl's arm is chopped off and her pregnant mother killed by militiamen in the Democratic Republic of Congo and is left to care for her two year old sister alone. The world is afflicted by the trafficking of sex slaves, forced laborers, both of which exploit children. The world is run by cruel leaders and plagued with fanatic rebels. You too are not without your mistakes or your flaws but you, America, are blessed. Just like a person who has seen the truth of Jesus Christ and is instantly changed, they are still with flaw and blemish and are put through a lifetime of refinement by the Holy Spirit. So too is a Nation born out of Biblical principles. With great blessing comes great responsibility and that responsibility is to God first and then to your people. The moment you stray from Him and the responsibilities He has bestowed upon you, is the moment that the atrocities you see around the world will be at your doorstep. It will not be without warning; for God warns His nations. If you do not heed His warnings, no heights of walls nor implementation of policy will keep evil from coming. Your safety and your refuge come from the Lord; when you remove Him, you remove the hand of protection He has placed over you. You will see a correlation between denouncing God and an increase of evil within you. Just like a new believer's heart must be changed in order to grow in his relationship with Christ, so too must you change from within yourself. 

America, you have a good God. In a broken world it is hard to understand how a good God can allow such evil to exist but at the heart of love is a choice. If God didn't give you a choice, you could not choose to love and without that choice, it would not be love at all. With the choice to love also comes the choice for evil and in this present world, we see evil’s mark on humanity. But, evil will not go unpunished; for vengeance is the Lord’s. For you, America, have a loving God but you also have a God that will not let the evils of this world go unpunished. Just like a mother that defends her child against wrongdoing so too will the Lord avenge His people. America, you are made up of your people, so we as the people must turn back to God if we want to see you move forward in love. If we don't, we will be just like ancient Israel; God will allow our enemies to breach our walls and we will be handed over to them. 

It’s time for America to look at her heart; the heart of a nation is in the heart of her people. It's time for "We the People," to turn back to God by looking at each one, his own heart. It's time for self reflection and a declaration for God or declaration against Him. Look at the Ten Commandments and ask yourself if they are evil. If you don't find them evil, then you know that you have broken some, if not all, of them; I certainly have. According to the Old Testament, because I have broken God’s law, I cannot enter His gates or be in His presence. But, thank God that in the New Testament and from the foundations of the world was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God and that Word came to the Earth as flesh and died on a cross to atone for my disobedience. That Word is the way, the truth, and the life and His name is Jesus. Before Abraham was, he declared “I am”. Could one man pay for the depth and vastness of evil around the world? No, maybe not just a man but God, yes, God in His infinite being as a man could. 

He came for you; do you choose Him America?

With love,

One heart in America 

To the Chruch: He is Coming Soon & My Dream

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

It has been a VERY long time since I have posted; almost 3 years! The Lord has been taking me on a journey and I have fallen more and more in love along the way. The journey has been messy, but God knows our hearts; He made us, and we are His! "For grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." I am married and now have a wonderful 15-month-old son. Parenthood is a revelation itself in understanding a fraction of the fatherly/motherly love that He has for us! What a wonderful Savior and God we have!

For those of you that this is the first blog post you're reading from me, you may already know that I am a Christian. When I was ten, I saw an angel after asking God if He was real and if He loved me. (Check out my first post "Testimony" where I wrote about it a few years ago). Even though I had that experience, I didn't come to Jesus until I was twenty-three. I looked everywhere else for fulfillment. I dabbled in witchcraft when I was younger, I partied a lot, dated around when I was a bit older, I considered other religions and beliefs and found nothing but emptiness. I gave everything that I was to everything else but God, to the point of wanting to end my life. It was at the end of my rope where Jesus was my last option that I asked Him to take my mess. It was only then did I find restoration and peace for my soul. "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."   

I plan on making other posts in the future of some of the lessons I have learned in the last 3 years but there is one conviction on my heart that brought me back to the blog. This post is directed towards believers. If you are reading this and are not a believer in Jesus Christ, I will be writing to you in a separate post, but please feel free to keep reading if you're interested! 

"'Yet even now,' declares the Lord, 'return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.' Return to the Lord your God for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster. Who knows whether he will not turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind him, and a grain offering and a drink offering for the Lord your God? Blow the trumpet in Zion; consecrate a fast; call a solemn assembly; gather the people. Consecrate the congregation; assemble the elders; gather the children; even nursing infants. Let the bridegroom leave his room, and the bride her chamber. "

"And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions. Even on the male and female servants in those days I will pour out my Spirit. And I will show wonders in the heavens and on the earth, blood and fire and columns of smoke. The sun shall be turned to darkness, and the moon to blood, before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be those who escape, as the Lord has said, and among the survivors shall be those whom the Lord calls."

Brothers and sisters, He is calling us to repent and turn back to Him. 

"I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you."

"But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lamp stand from its place, unless you repent."

"But I have a few things against you: you have some there who hold the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to put a stumbling block before the sons of Israel, so that they might eat food sacrificed to idols and practice sexual immorality. So also you have some who hold the teaching of the Nicolations. Therefore repent. If not, I will come to you soon and war against them with the sword of my mouth."

"But this I have against you, that you tolerate that women Jezebel who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols."

"I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked."

I believe we are in the days spoken about in Joel, Acts, and the Gospels. There is a stirring in the Spirit and if you have a sense of it too, you understand what I mean.

"And there will be signs in sun and moon and stars, and on the earth distress of nations in perplexity because of the roaring of the sea and the waves, people fainting with fear and with foreboding of what is coming on the world. For the powers of the heavens will be shaken. And then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. Now when these things begin to take place, straighten up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.' And he told them a parable: 'Look at the fig tree, and all the trees. As soon as they come out in leaf, you see for yourselves and know that the summer is already near. So also, when you see these things taking place, you know that the kingdom of God is near. Truly I saw to you, this generation will not pass away until all has taken place. Heaven and Earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away."

It's time to wake up Church. He is coming like a thief in the night. We must be watching, and we must be ready. Have oil for your lamps Church for the Groom is coming for His Bride!

"Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. But at midnight there was a cry, 'Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.' Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' But the wise answered, saying, 'Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy yourselves.' And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, "Lord, lord, open to us.' But he answered, 'Truly I tell you, I do not know you.' Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour."

I want to share with you a dream I had. This was during the solar eclipse back in September. I was fasting for a few days prior to the total solar eclipse. I knew that this event was significant, but I didn't know what it meant so I prayed and fasted. After my fast and the night of the eclipse, I had this dream:

I was in a home, it was not the one I am in now or one that I have been in the past, but it was familiar to me. I was doing chores; dishes, cleaning, etc. While I was doing this, an older man (I did not recognize him but in my dream, he was familiar.) called me to the back door. It was a screen door looking out into the back yard. When I looked out, the old man pointed to the scenery in the back yard. There was green grass, trees and off in the distance were mountains. The old man pointed towards the mountains and said, "Jesus is coming and He is coming soon. He is just beyond those mountains." After he told me this, I was immediately excited but also anxious. I was anxious because I didn't feel I had everything done yet and was surprised it was so soon.

Brothers and sisters, He is calling to us, He is pouring out His Spirit. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the Churches! If you have had a similar conviction, I would love to hear from your or hear what He has been saying to you. May the peace of the Lord be with you!

                                                                                                  Love in Christ, 

                                                                                                  Coree

*All scripture is in bold and in the English Standard Version. Scripture in the order they appear in the blog: 

1. Ephesians 2:8-10

2. Matthew 11:28-30

3. Joel 2: 12-16

4. Joel 2: 28-32

5. Revelation 3:1-3

6. Revelation 2:4-5

7. Revelation 2:14-16

8. Revelation 2:20

9. Revelation 3:15-17

10. Luke 21:25-33

11. Matthew 25:1-13

Abide in Him

When you are tested, you must abide in Christ. As Christians who are truly saved by the Lord Jesus Christ, we understand our deep need for Him. We understand the world's need for Him. In desperation to hold onto the attributes that the Lord calls us to dress ourselves in, we can begin to dress ourselves outwardly but not inwardly.

It would be easy to proclaim the love of the Lord in our lives when we are not enduring trial. God tends to work in opposites, for example, those who are weak the Lord gives them strength, a wise man does not claim to be wise but a fool does, those who are poor have something to boast about, we must be quick to listen and slow to speak, so it is that in trial we must consider it pure joy, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kind, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

As Christians, we must persevere under trial. The Greek word perseverance means "an abiding under; to abide." In some New Testament cases, it means "patience".  When we go through challenging times, we must, we must abide in Christ. What does it mean to abide in Him? 

"I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. "I am the vine you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anything does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples." John 15:1-8

To abide means to be connected to Christ. Christ is the means by which we have life. If we are not connected with him, we will die and not produce fruit. John 15 says, "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you...."  How do we connect and remain connected to Christ?, we can be connected to Christ by knowing AND obeying His word for James 2:22 "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like." By studying His word by having constant reliance on Him we not only know who Christ is but we know who Christ is in us.


When I gave my life to Christ, about a week later I had a dream. Up to that point, I have been diving into the word in the New Testament. I couldn't stop reading and felt as if I needed to absorb everything I could as quickly as I could. In my dream,  I was in a dark room standing in front of a wooden desk. Sitting at the desk was a large bald man. I didn't know him. The man started saying things to me like, "God doesn't love you. " and in my dream I was able to recite bible verses by the verse:  John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." God cannot protect you here, Psalm 91:11-12, "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone."... I cannot remember all the questions now, but I woke up realizing that the word of God had been written on my heart and was reminded that I must remain in the Lord by remaining in His word because the world will test me. The world will try to destroy Christ and Christ in me.


You cannot be abiding in Christ if you are not seeking His word. You will forget who you are. What does the Lord say to those who do not abide in Him? "If anything does not abide in Me, he is cast out..." And those who do abide in Him? "and every branch that bears fruit He prunes that it may bear more fruit." You will go through trial and you will be pruned. So remember, trial can be painful, but it is so that you may become refined in Christ. Remember, this can ONLY happen if you are so connected to Christ that you're entire existence is dependent upon Him. 


As you are seeking Him in His word, especially through trial, let these promises comfort you:

             "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." -Exodus 14:14

"More than that, we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance,"     -Romans 5:3

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. ." -1 Peter 5:10

Redemption

I have not written in a while! A lot has changed since my last post, ''Trials". Since that time, I have been growing in my relationship with the Lord. He has brought a wonderful God fearing man into my life. We are now married! The Lord has shown me redemption of all kinds through my marriage.

First, let me remind you of what I was like before the Lord. Since I was ten, I had always believed in Him (Please refer to my first entry "Testimony"). A prayer, as a ten year old, was answered and I never doubted His existence. I grew up with divorced parents that lead to it's own trials. It wasn't until I was 23 did I give my life to Him. I was going down my own path, feeding my own desires. I worked hard, studied hard, partied hard, and relied on my relationships to feel loved. It made me so empty that I didn't want to live anymore. I had nothing to live for... or so I thought.

I gave my life to Christ as a last option. The Lord was my last choice. What amazes me, is that even though I picked Him last, He came to my rescue as soon as the words, "Lord, please help me... I can't do this anymore." left my mouth. He showed me He had been waiting on me a long time before I cognitively understood what and who God was. The Lord had known me and loved me for a long time.

I want to take a second to tell you that no matter where your past has been, and no matter what decisions you have made, The Lord can redeem it all. He will redeem not only where you came from, but also the places you brought yourself. He will do this ONLY because he LOVES you; if you let Him.

I always wondered why I was allowed to see the Angel when I 10. Why did I ever write that letter? What made me so curious about the concept of God? I always wondered why the Lord had been so active in my life. (I can see this now; I couldn't see it then). I never understood my situation, why I went through what I went through and what God had to do with that.

On my wedding day, when my husband's Mother was giving her speech, she said, "When we knew I was pregnant, we were in a bible study where we discussed praying for our unborn children. That lead to praying for our son's future wife if he were to marry. We never knew who she was but we prayed that she would have a heart for The Lord. That she would come to know Him..." To find out that there was a family out there praying for me, before I was even born, who didn't know of the pain I would feel, and knew nothing of the struggle I would face to find wholeness in my life... is so far beyond me. It is the wonders of God and evidence of how deep His love for each one of us is.

It is in his word that, "Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes" Ephesians 1:4.

 

Not only did the Lord redeem the decisions I made in my life, He redeemed my past. My family has been in turmoil for a long time with one another. On my wedding day, they all came together. I had been praying everyday that The Lord be present at my wedding. I wanted Him to not only be apart of it but be the very foundation on which it is built.

 

For my wedding, I had my Father walk me down the isle and have my Stepfather marry me and my now husband. These are two men that have had such an instrumental part of my life. I love them both and The Lord provided the perfect situation to allow both of them an equal part in my marriage. These are also two men that have not gotten along for many reasons. But... on my wedding day, they hugged. If you only knew how symbolic this was... you could see The Lord.

 

The Lord works in ways we do not understand. We have difficulty believing in Him because He is not a tangible being and we live in such a tangible world. If we could just see Him and if we could just feel Him... then we would believe in Him. But would you? What amazes me about my whole situation is that even though He showed me He existed by sending a "white figure" to stand over my letter to God, I still didn't believe IN Him. He could give us all the proof in the world that He is real and we would still choose not to follow Him. He has given us everything we need to make a choice. Above all, He has given us the freedom to choose. And ultimately, choosing Him gives us freedom.

 

We are imperfect people have created imperfect means to teach others about the Lord. And regardless of our intentions, we have pushed people away by imperfectly representing the Lord. But, If you seek Him, He is perfect. He will take your life and redeem it. I believe His word to be true: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10). When you seek the things of this world for love and happiness, it will only destroy you, but seek the Lord and you will have life.

I want to share my stories so that maybe you too can either come to find Him or give hope to those who are in the valley. This life will always have ups and downs; the Lord gives meaning to it all. I want to encourage you that The Lord is very active in your life. If you choose to walk away from Him, He will be waiting for you to return. If you cannot feel Him right now, He is very close. If you have never known Him, He has always known you.

"And through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him..."

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble



 

Trials

 

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Philippians 1:6

 

   I have been following Christ for almost a year. I realized that I had nothing to live for and I couldn't do this without God. I surrendered myself to Him and accepted Him into my life. Since then, He has been changing my heart. It started with a fire, and now there are trials.

   My latest test has been a reminder of who I really serve. The past month has been a back to back of me falling short of my own expectations. Particularly at work, but just a back to back of making mistakes.  Of course these mistakes are not on purpose and they are genuine mistakes. However, they were occurring more than normal. One mistake after another. I was getting down on myself and almost desperate to prove that I am not incompetent!

 

   God is funny in the way He works and the way He teaches us. I was getting to a point where my fire was burning low. I just didn't understand why God would put me in a career and allow me to... well, struggle at it! Why would He do that? Certainly He would put me in a job to be good at it to show others that following Him makes you good at your job and somehow in that they will want to follow God too? ...Sounds kind of selfish now...It sounds selfish because it is and I was being selfish.  I realized that my earthly job means absolutely nothing if I'm not serving Him. He showed me this by allowing me to realize that I was looking for approval from people and not Him. I wanted to be good, I wanted to do well for myself and not for the glory of God. It's easy to do! We all want the approval of others and to be liked! It's in our nature. But, we are not perfect and no human approval will ever amount to the love of God.

  My lesson learned was that no matter what I do, do it for the glory of God. Do this because when I had nothing, He provided and when I deserved nothing, He gave me everything. No man could ever do that, even if he wanted to. When I go into work, I remember who I serve and that makes all the mundane worldly things seem so trivial compared to the purpose and peace God has given me. That doesn't mean I stop working hard or that I will stop struggling with this, but it means that God has given me a lesson to help me get through the day to day. A tool in remembering why I'm here and that He is with me. A reminder that if what I'm doing is not for God, it holds no value.

 

   God puts trials in our lives to teach us lessons. He does it because He loves us. He made me realize that when we go through things like this, to be glad of it! It means God is working on us! It means He loves you so much that He, the creator of the universe, thinks of you and what you need personally to grow. When you had a professor, teacher, or mentor go out of their way to help you

 with something, you respected them for it because they didn't have to do that for you. Think about the God who created a universe that we can't even wrap our minds around took His "time" to think about what you needed to make you better. He didn't have to do that. He does it because He loves you.

 

   We all go through trials. We go through small ones and we go through big ones. I have most definitely been through things in my life that were harder than others. But it's not a measure of the trial as it is a measure of faith. If you are in a trial of some kind right now, no matter how difficult or how impossible it may seem, know that God is there. There is a reason and a purpose for it. He is doing a good work in you because He loves you. If you have to, as I did, force yourself to get into the word. You won't always have the hunger and desire to do it. Do it any way. It is easy to forget that our God is for us and not against us. Be glad that He is working on you.

 

 

 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:2-4

 

 

 

Questions

How do you find comfort in something you can't see or touch?

 I have seen things and I have felt God.


To you, what does it mean to serve God?
  
To serve God, right now, is to seek Him always. I look for Him in everything I do. I think about Him and I read His Word. He has asked me to read the Bible. So serving God means I've surrendered my life, let Him in my heart and learn as much as I can about who God is.


If there is a God, how are you supposed to know what he wants from you or how to serve him best?

   I don't even know what He wants me to do with my life yet. He has been very clear that my job as His servant is to love Him with all my heart and love people as I love myself. He has asked me to share my testimony so that others may learn to find Him and know Him too. Love people; be there for them. When no one else wants them because of how bad of a person they are or how lost they are; love them. Love them so they can see God. So they can see what God has done for me. How He has changed me and how He has fulfilled my life. You serve Him when you realize that there is no other way but Him. You have tried everything in this life to feel like you have meaning and purpose and always come up empty handed and full of sorrow. Then you realize that God is the only answer. When you realize God is the only answer, you are challenged to believe that your way of living is wrong. You are full of sadness because what you have been doing has no meaning and you're sorry. But God says, "I love you and I have a purpose for you. If you chose me, I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. I have a plan for you; a plan for good. A plan to proposer you and not to harm you. I love you despite your rebelling against me and to find meaning in everything but me. I will always keep asking you to come back to me. Even if you deny me a thousand times, I will never give up on you."


When you're dealing with different issues in your life, do you ask God to help you through them or just ask for the wisdom to make it through on your own?

 I ask for God to help through everything. I ask for God to give me wisdom...His wisdom through it, and He does.

  Ecclesiastes 2:26: To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

   James 1:5: If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

   This is what I'm new at because I haven't followed God before. I just believed Him to be real. So I've been learning what it means to follow Him and how He talks to me. He's been teaching me how to live in certain circumstances.


Is it enough to serve God by just being a good person?

   I assume by being a good person you mean doing good deeds. But the cross, or following God, demands that you trust in Him and surrender your life to Him. It is not by doing good things that you are saved or is required for following God. Of course being a "good person" comes from following God but that comes with surrendering your life. Entrusting your life in God's hands.

   So many times in the bible it says it is by faith (Trust in God) that counts. Because if you don't have faith being a "good person" doesn't mean anything. You can do "good things" and still be someone who doesn't believe in God. By definition of following Christ we are a new creation and are therefore different from everyone else. Because we as people are naturally flawed, there is no amount of good deed or being a good person that is "good enough for God". And the amazing thing is we don't have to be "good enough for God".

   Ephesians 2:8-9: For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the faith of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

   James 2:26: For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead. 

   2 Corinthians 5:17: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

   Galatians 2:20: I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

   Romans 3:23-26:  For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement through the shedding of his blood to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished  he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.


Do you regret any of it? The whole experience of finding God?

  This is one of those things that is very hard to explain until you get to a point where you surrender yourself to Him because you want Him in your life. Choosing to follow God is not like choosing what college you want to go to or what career path you want to take or even who you want to marry. Choosing God is choosing a way of life and a way of death. You are choosing, in this life to follow THE God. To live out the plan he has for your life. Which is always good. Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you," declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." He has a plan for your life providing you choose it. His plan is good for you and it glorifies Him.

   You also made a choice of what happens when you die. You choose a life of eternity with God. John 11:25 Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live..." John 5:24: "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life." The fact is: You will die one day. What do you believe happens? You just die and that's it? What if you don't just die. This life is about choosing. You either choose God or you don't; there is no middle ground. If you die and find out there's life after death... It's a little too late.

So, do I regret choosing to follow a God that loves me,

"I knew you before you were conceived" -Jeremiah 1:4-5-. "I chose you when I planned creation" -Ephesians 1:11-12-. "You were not a mistake... for all your days are written in my book" -Psalm 138:15-16-. "I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live" -Acts 17:26-. "You are fearfully and wonderfully made" - Psalms 139:14-. A God who wants to do good to me? "It is my desire to lavish my love on you, simply because you are my child and I am your Father" -1 John 3:1-. "I offer you more than your earthly father ever could" -Matthew 7:11-. "Every good gift you receive comes from my hand" -James 1:17-. "For I am your provider and I meet all of your needs" -Matthew 6:31-33- . Who promises to be there for me when I'm hurting? "When you are broken hearted I am close to you" -Psalm 34:18-. "One day I will wipe away every tear from your eye and I will take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth" -Revelations 21:3-4-. Who sacrifices for love? "I am your father and I love you even as I love my son Jesus" -John 17:23-. "He is the exact representation of my being" -Hebrews 1:3-. "He came to demonstrate that I am for you and not against you" -Romans 8:31-. "And to tell you I am not counting your sins. Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled" -2 Corinthians 5:18-19-. "His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you" -1 John 4:10-. "I gave up everything I love that I might gain your love" -Romans 8:32-.

No, I don't regret that.


What if you don't feel anything anymore? How can someone love you when you don't even love yourself?

  You are able to love in the first place because God loves you. God is love.    

1 John 4:19:  "We love because he first loved us."
1John 4:16: "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

I know what it's like to not love yourself. Now that I am where I am in my life, I know God loves me and that's enough. I've haven't had to worry about someone else loving me or even me loving myself. I know that doesn't make sense but that's how I see it.


It seems like in order to accept God into your life, you have to love him. But how can you do that when you really don't even remember what it's like to love anyone let alone yourself. How are you supposed to learn to love anything when you just feel hollow?

   He loved you first. So that implies that you don't love first. You don't have to love Him first. You just have to accept Him. Let Him show you He loves you. In order to do that, you have to acknowledge Him. You are hollow because you haven't accepted Him. You will always be hollow until you realize He is that only things that can fill the void in your heart. It's hard to love yourself when you don't have love. God is love -1 John 4:8-. You don't love yourself because you don't know God. But He knows you. That is the whole point. Do you believe God to be real? That is where you start.


It is hard to wrap my mind around the possibility of an all powerful being that is everywhere at the same time. Something that is capable of unconditional love.

  We aren't supposed to be able to wrap our heads around it. You'll be in a life long pursuit of trying to understand if you think following God means you'll understand everything He understands. That's like looking at your Dad when you're three and saying "You're not my Dad unless I understand everything about who you are. You know your Dad is your Dad when you're a kid by believing he is.


If God wants us to believe in him, why not make his presence more known and remove all doubt?

   Would you want a God who forces you to believe in Him? Forces you into surrendering to who He is? The greatest gift from God is our free will. He's not going to spell it out for you because it all comes down to choice. You have to want God. Even with all the experiences I have had, He still leaves me with a choice and I'll be honest, all the proof in the world could point to the existence of a God, and people would still choose not to serve Him. He has shown me so many things in the spiritual world, yet I still had to make a choice. It is said in the bible, not sure the reference, even demons acknowledge God is real. When you want God, when you seek Him, He will show Himself to you. Trust me. But you have to want it. Truly want it.










Sources:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEfJpJ1lhQc